To the one I love...

I received the above card in the mail from Meggie P. in the mail this week. It was a pleasant surprise as I was flipping through the usual junk pile that arrives at my door daily.

I looked at the front of the card, amused but confused.. then opened it up. On the inside it said " I just realized everything about him pisses me off" (I think the guy has his man jewels hanging out, but I cant tell for sure)

Meg had purchased the card in California while on vacation with her family because she said it reminded her of me & Joe and the bumps in the road we've faced the last few months as VA has been coming to an end.

As I laughed at the card, I couldn't help but realize she was probably right...
Looking back over the last year, I can honestly say that there were many a day where everything he did JUST PISSED ME OFF; and I am sure he felt the same way. :) Distance, is one of the hardest obstacles to over come in a relationship because it is such a challenge to remain in sync being so far apart. And if you can find someone who you can survive a year away from, there is a good shot you will have a good relationship when they are by your side :)

I am happy to report that Joe will be coming home permanently the weekend after next. We made it! While there were many a day that I did not enjoy the distance, and truly thought I would crack... I learned a lot the last year about what it takes to truly make a relationship work for the long haul.

I learned: That compromise is key. Space from a person actually keeps things spicy. Its important to put yourself in the other persons shoes during an argument. Both people have to work to make the relationship successful. Making a meal together and having some 'fun' can fix most problems, the rest will be fixed by a good night sleep. The most successful relationships aren't necessarily the ones who fight the least. Never go to bed still angry. Don't be too hard on yourself or your partner, most people are doing the best they can given our very busy lives. A year is not that long in the span of a life time. Time has a funny way of working things out, have the patience to wait for it.

Well, Joe, I am sorry for all the frustrating moments, and the endless nagging phone calls... and the stupid arguments because I was angry you weren't here. I am sorry for all the days that no matter what you did--you just pissed me off. I'm sure there will be many more, so get used to it. Thanks for sticking by me through a very trying year. I hope that this year brings great things to us, and many more fun things to share. Oh yes, and even though I've learned a lot from your one year hiatus to VA, its now mandatory that you are no more then 20 miles away at any given moment. I love you.

Be present

It has been 48 hours with no facebook. Man, is this hard. So far though, I think this has been a success. I currently have no idea what anyone else in the world is doing or has done in the last two days. All I know is, this is what I did in my life in the time I would have spent observing others:
Sunday:
- Made a new recipe for Joe and I. I made Double Bacon Beer-Braised Cheeseburgers and Watermelon Salad with Basil and Bacon Both of which were awesome. I guess I didn't really plan before hand because these recipes both had bacon. Oh well, fourteen slices of bacon total, and Joe and I were pretty satisfied!

- Went to see Eat, Pray, Love with my friend Karen. I thought I would love that movie as I am usually a chic flick fein, but I really didn't. It was too long, and way unrealistic. What happened in real life was that the author was paid by her publisher to take that trip around the world and document her feelings & thoughts in her book. In the movie, they never address how Julia Roberts supports herself. So, while we all wish we could escape our lives and "Eat, Pray and Love" our way around America or abroad, for most, this would not be feasible without cash. Also, not to give anything away, as I am sure you have seen this in the previews, but she has love interests in the movie-- Im pretty sure the book was more about self reflection and the message that one does not need a man to be happy. The movie was talking out of both sides of its mouth---you dont NEED a man-- but if you find a hot one, then hang on to him. Disappointment.

- Watched the season finale of Kourt and Khloe Take Miami --only one thing to say about this - Kourt should ditch that douche bag Scott ASAP

Monday:

- Went to work where I proceeded to try to be productive (while taking intermittent breaks perusing people.com, usatoday.com, cnn.com, Rochester newspapers, philly.com, blogspot, and gchat)

- Came home and ate leftover burger

- painted my bedroom wall that was recently repaired from the winter storm

- changed my bed

- did a load of dishes and laundry

- Watched my guilty pleasure - Secret Life of the American Teenager & Entourage on DVR

- paid bills

- and wrote this blog post


What I've learned thus far: It is far more satisfying and motivating to be present in your own life then to be a bystander in someone elses. Being off of facebook has forced me to find things to do that make MY OWN LIFE worth living.

It might be a quarter life crisis or just the stirring in my soul

Meggie P is my longest standing friend to date. She has been in my life since middle school. Back then, we would lay in bed and talk about our college, marriage, and babies like they were eons away. We would discuss where we thought we'd be at 18, 21, 25, what we hoped to have accomplished by that point in time, where we thought our friends would be, if we even still would be friends. The two girls who made those predictions lived in a different world. Their world was five blocks wide, all their lives laid before them, and every road led home... oh.. and one very important difference - FACEBOOK did not exist.


I guess your wondering the point I am trying to make.... well even though Meg and I have both experienced great sucess in our lives thus far despite not being in the exact places we'd predicted we'd be; we are left feeling unfufilled by our success. The reason? Facebook.

Facebook, dont get me wrong, is a great tool for keeping in touch with friends. But facebook also does something evil. Facebook makes it incredibly easy to compare yourself to others and take note of where your life lacks. Newsfeed picks your "top stories" which I swear they do based on your biggest insecurities at that moment. See, if your worried you'll never get engaged, then it just happens that your top stories pertain to all your closest freinds and their newly aquired bling. Being able to compare the sucesses and failures in your own life to the 685 "friends" you have on FB at a touch of a button can make even the most sucessful people feel unsucessful.

So today, Meggie P and I got talking about how addicted we are to FB stalking, and how we use it as a self loathing tool to remind ourselves what we've yet to acheive - be it marriage, babies, jobs, what-have-you. We got thinking, would we feel better if we were not members of the most popular networking tool to date? Instead we were living our own lives indifferent to what other people around us were doing/saying/seeing/traveling/making up with and breaking up with? While quitting facebook all together, would never be an option either of us were persue because we're both cracked out on it, we decided to take a one week break from the social network and see if our happiness improves. Also, we plan to document the things we do that are productive to our own lives, in the time we would have spent stalking others. So here it goes, one week without....