Mind wandering on the train...

I was sitting on the train today listening to my IPOD as per the usual commute and I took notice of a billboard outside the window as the train passed by. The billboard simply said "where are you going?" I dont know it if was the song that was playing, or the fact that its been along time since I've been home, but that billboard prompted me to start thinking about where I've been, and the road I've taken to get to where I am today. Its simple really, one choice you make can change the whole path of your life. But the crazy part is that change is so slow; your life changes so slightly each day that you dont really realize that anything is different it until you start looking back on where you have been and you realize how different it is from where you started. Its funny, I look back to where I thought you would be at this point in your life - and it is not where I expected to be at all.

Some days I just wake up in Philly, and I cant believe that I live here. Me? Philadelphia? Growing up everyone (including myself) thought that I would never leave Rochester, my family, my home. Yet somehow life lead me here and life is turning out different - better then I expected.

I used to be afraid of so many things..That I'd never grow up.That I'd be trapped in the same place for all eternity. That my dreams would forever be shy of my reach. It's true what they say. Time plays tricks on you. One day you're dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality and now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do. 'Cause there are things I wanna tell her-- to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence and these people, Toni, Michele, Rachel, Megan, Joe, Meg, Dan, the people from my past past have contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... growing up together was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now. How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget.

And as my life here continues to take me farther and farther from the little girl I used to be, I cant help but wonder. "Where am I going?"