A Lopsided Friendship

Over hurricane weekend I forced Joe into watching the movie "Something Borrowed". I had read the book, and had been wanting to see the movie they made, but had never gotten around to it. Incase you haven't read the book, here is a plot synopsis.
"Rachel White is the consummate good girl. A hard-working attorney at a large Manhattan law firm and a diligent maid of honor to her charmed best friend Darcy, Rachel has always played by all the rules. Since grade school, she has watched Darcy shine, quietly accepting the sidekick role in their lopsided friendship. But that suddenly changes the night of her thirtieth birthday when Rachel finally confesses her feelings to Darcy's fiance, and is both horrified and thrilled to discover that he feels the same way. As the wedding date draws near, events spiral out of control, and Rachel knows she must make a choice between her heart and conscience. In so doing, she discovers that the lines between right and wrong can be blurry, endings aren't always neat, and sometimes you have to risk everything to be true to yourself."

I often feel that my friendships are lopsided with the short end of the stick pointing towards me. I put in more work, more effort, I care more.  This got me thinking: am I the 'Rachel' in my friendships?

We are so quick in society to tell the waitress if our order is wrong, or question a bill if we think we've paid the wrong amount, we question our parents if we disagree with them.. but we rarely call out our girlfriends on their faults. Why is this? Is it our overwhelming needs for acceptance at all cost?

Most friendships are uneven at some point.. there is always a giver and a taker. In the best friendships, that roll will flip-flop depending on circumstances at a point in time... its being there for each other when the other is in need. I'd like to think that this is how MOST of my friendships are... But what happens if the roll never flips and we end up in a lopsided friendship much akin to Rachel's? You know the kind of person I am talking about: one who only calls you when SHE has nothing to do, but doesn't know your number if shes made fun plans with other people, heaven forbid you tag along. The person that always makes plans with you and then breaks them last minute when something better arises and then makes some lame excuse. The people who take, take, take and give little regard to your feelings in return. There is also some friendships that have fallen into the trap of time, where the rolls are so ingrained in us, we don't know any different. One person always does the calling, and the communications, and the chasing, and that's just the way it has been for such a long time that we are used to it. What happens if the 'Rachel' in the relationship just stopped trying? Would the friendship die?

The truth is I deserve in return what  I give to others and then some. I am a good friend and will go to the ends of the world for the people I care about. However, I deserve to be heard. I deserve to be texted. I deserve to be invited.  I deserve to be met on time. Its time to redefine my friendships. I am going to build my own container and pour them into it instead of being liquid in theirs and making them feel fulfilled. If people don't reciprocate my invites, or invite me to their events, and make me feel as loved as I make them feel then they can go find  someone else to take from because I am not an ATM.