Fall Favorites

Even though the first day of Fall isnt until September 23rd, it is really starting to feel like fall out there already! I'd thought I'd share some of my favorite things about fall in a quick post!

The return of fall means the return of the Starbucks Pumpkin Spiced Latte -- one of my favorites!

I love slouchy boots. They are warm, comfortable, and they go great with leggings, jeggings, or skirts!

 Nothing is better then hanging out on a cool fall saturday afternoon in a cute cotton outfit adorned with a scarf.

Another one of my favorite things about fall is that life slows down and the craziness of having the weekends jam packed with things comes to a hault. Fall is my favorite time to enjoy my house, plan dinner parties for my friends and catch up on a good book.

My last favorite thing about fall is cooking great fall meals. One of my favorite meals to make in the fall is squash soup. Its easy, its healthy, and its orange goodness just screams fall.

A Lopsided Friendship

Over hurricane weekend I forced Joe into watching the movie "Something Borrowed". I had read the book, and had been wanting to see the movie they made, but had never gotten around to it. Incase you haven't read the book, here is a plot synopsis.
"Rachel White is the consummate good girl. A hard-working attorney at a large Manhattan law firm and a diligent maid of honor to her charmed best friend Darcy, Rachel has always played by all the rules. Since grade school, she has watched Darcy shine, quietly accepting the sidekick role in their lopsided friendship. But that suddenly changes the night of her thirtieth birthday when Rachel finally confesses her feelings to Darcy's fiance, and is both horrified and thrilled to discover that he feels the same way. As the wedding date draws near, events spiral out of control, and Rachel knows she must make a choice between her heart and conscience. In so doing, she discovers that the lines between right and wrong can be blurry, endings aren't always neat, and sometimes you have to risk everything to be true to yourself."

I often feel that my friendships are lopsided with the short end of the stick pointing towards me. I put in more work, more effort, I care more.  This got me thinking: am I the 'Rachel' in my friendships?

We are so quick in society to tell the waitress if our order is wrong, or question a bill if we think we've paid the wrong amount, we question our parents if we disagree with them.. but we rarely call out our girlfriends on their faults. Why is this? Is it our overwhelming needs for acceptance at all cost?

Most friendships are uneven at some point.. there is always a giver and a taker. In the best friendships, that roll will flip-flop depending on circumstances at a point in time... its being there for each other when the other is in need. I'd like to think that this is how MOST of my friendships are... But what happens if the roll never flips and we end up in a lopsided friendship much akin to Rachel's? You know the kind of person I am talking about: one who only calls you when SHE has nothing to do, but doesn't know your number if shes made fun plans with other people, heaven forbid you tag along. The person that always makes plans with you and then breaks them last minute when something better arises and then makes some lame excuse. The people who take, take, take and give little regard to your feelings in return. There is also some friendships that have fallen into the trap of time, where the rolls are so ingrained in us, we don't know any different. One person always does the calling, and the communications, and the chasing, and that's just the way it has been for such a long time that we are used to it. What happens if the 'Rachel' in the relationship just stopped trying? Would the friendship die?

The truth is I deserve in return what  I give to others and then some. I am a good friend and will go to the ends of the world for the people I care about. However, I deserve to be heard. I deserve to be texted. I deserve to be invited.  I deserve to be met on time. Its time to redefine my friendships. I am going to build my own container and pour them into it instead of being liquid in theirs and making them feel fulfilled. If people don't reciprocate my invites, or invite me to their events, and make me feel as loved as I make them feel then they can go find  someone else to take from because I am not an ATM.

Hurriquake 2011

This past week started out with a earthquake and ended with a hurricane (that ended up being a huge let down.) Joe and I had planned that we'd spend the weekend together because next weekend I am going home for Labor Day and he will be having boys weekend with his friends. On Friday, after listening to the media hype up the hurricane all day, I decided maybe it was better to be prepared, then to not be prepared. So, at lunchtime, Allie and I headed out to Genardi's to get some food, water, batteries, snacks.. the essential stuff. When we arrived, water and batteries were sold out. We got some food.. and that was about it. You would have thought the end of the world as we know it .. people were bumping into each other with carts and furiously navigating their way through the aisles looking for the makings of their last supper. On my way home, I stopped and bought ice in case we lost power, and got gas in case I had to escape. By the time I got home it was late and I was mentally exhausted from fighting the crowds. Joe came over around 11pm after helping his mom secure her house and we were both pretty tired, so we headed to bed.

On Saturday, we woke up to dreary skies, but nothing significant. I made us a big breakfast of eggs, sausage, and home fries. Since it was a little rainy, we decided to stay in and watch 'Something Barrowed' because with the media frenzy, we didn't know if one second it'd be fine and the next would be awful.... The night dragged on with much of the same. By 6pm I was going crazy! In the middle of movie number two, the Emergency Response System interrupted and said that a tornado had touched down in Philadelphia slightly north of Manayunk. Que Joe's freak out. Shirtless, because he had been surveying the rain from the roof deck, he ran around with a head lamp on his head screaming to get away from the windows. Alarmist much? I walked outside, the trees weren't even moving...

Ok, so the EAS didn't stop for the next 40 minutes we sat in anticipation awaiting the tornado that was going to rip through the city. Nothing...

On Saturday night at 5am.. and realized we had slept through the 'worst' of it. The power was still on.. the basement was damp.. but nothing significant.

On Sunday.. it was still windy but we were dying to get out. We headed down to main St to watch the river flooding into the street and then we headed to the city to get some tapas for dinner.

All and all, all the media frenzy and preparations were for nothing. The hurricane fell about as flat as the earthquake.. nothing significant and definitely not the end of the world. All that bitch Irene did was RUIN MY WEEKEND! Here's to waiting another 5 days for a weekend that isn't plagued by weather.

Nana Knows Best

As I said in my last post, this past weekend, I was home in Rochester. Everytime I am home, most of my time is spent with my parents and grandparents, as I feel I do not get enough time with them these days. This weekend, my grandma wasnt feeling all that well so my time was spent just chit-chatting with her at her house. We talked about a lot of things, but one part of the conversation really stuck out. She asked me about how things were going with Joe. I told her that he was enjoying his new place, although I was really pressing for him to move in with me, as it made the most economical and logistical sense. I also may have mentioned that I really want a sparkling rock in the near future.

My grandma has met Joe maybe twice in her life, both times briefly. But the advice she gave me regarding the situation was like she had known him for years. She said, "so your asking him to do these things and he is pushing back on you?" I replied that that was exactly waht was happening... not so much because he doenst want to do them.. but more becuase I want him to... She said "you need to make him feel like its his idea, whether it is or not. The more you act like you dont care about those things, the more eager he will be to do them." She went on to say that no one likes feeling like they are doing what they are told by someone else. If he feels like you are not focusing on it and dont really care, he will probably come around about it a whole lot faster. So stop mentioning it.

I looked at her in amazement. This happens all the time with us. Him getting a new job was my idea... in the end he did it.. and pretended he came up with it. Him moving to his own place was also something I wanted.. he did it.. just six months after I asked him to.. on his own time frame. But how did she know this? She doenst know him! Maybe thats becuase its a phenomenon as old as she is... part of the male psyche since cave man times...men want to do what they want to do when they want to do it.. END OF STORY. A woman suggesting something a man should do makes them feel controlled.  Even if said man ends up doing exactly what said woman wanted... he will pretend he did it becuase it was his idea and what he wanted.

The bottom line is I think she's right. However hard it may be to shift my focus from engagement and moving in together, I need to do it. I need to give him space and time to make the decision to move forward and approach me. He knows where I stand and what I want, and harping on it will not make him feel like he is doing it because he wants to... but because I am forcing him to. My new plan is to just wait it out. We have talked about a timeline for all of the above before, he is aware of it. Whether he makes it happen or not is up to him and him alone. I truely believe that if something is meant to be, it will be. I am done forcing the issue. I am confident that if for some reason he doenst come around I will be ok. There is a plan for each of us, and by forcing a plan that may not be in the cards, I might miss out on my true calling. Nana has been around along time, and I trust that her advice will ring true. So, lets just wait and see.

Holler If Your Ready For Some Summer Nights~

AH! I have been so busy that my blogging has fallen off the face of the earth! The weekend after the 4th of July, my family went back to Rehoboth to visit my brothers beach house again.. this time Joe came and we had a great time and did much of the same things as we did during our last trip. A week or two after that, Joe and I went down to the shore to visit his family and gamble. We had a great time sitting on the beach and relaxing. We did loose money gambling, so that was a bummer but all and all was a great trip. So, that was July...

The first weekend in August Sara and Steve invited the Lehigh guys over (and me) for a housewarming party weekend at their new place. On Friday night a bunch of us went out to a few bars in their neighborhood in the city. The next day the boys did a sight seeing tour of Philly and Sara and I shopped and drank margaritas at El Vez, Steven Starr's mexican restaurant. On Saturday night we all went out to dinner together and then out to Plough & The Stars --my favorite old city bar! We had a great time checking out their new place and hanging out.

That brings me to last week. Last week I was in Mystic, CT again for work from Monday - Thursday. I usually dont like traveling for work, but I dont mind Mystic. It is so beautiful there, right on the CT sound. While I was there, I was able to fit in some good dinners, shopping, and a few dips in the hotel pool! Not a bad week at all. When I got back, I decided to make an impromptu trip to Rochester to go boating and visit my family. On Friday and Saturday we went boating, and although they were initially calling for rain, the weather held out for us. On Sunday, my mom and I went to the Canandaigua Reisling Festival and sampled many different Finger Lakes Wines and cheeses from around the country. We even got a sample of the Limited Edition Abbotts Reisling Custard! It was made with Reisling wine and was amazing! Yesterday I headed back to Philadelphia -- and resumed a normal routine. So thats that, 4 weeks packed into one blog. I hope to get back to normal now! Below is a picture of my marina in Sodus, NY at sunset, so pretty!

Local News: Volume 3

Recently, I came across this article in the Huffington Post analyzing if for most woman our friends choices make us regret our own. One thing she said I've often felt,

"Defending what we've chosen for our lives -- and what we've chosen to leave behind. Judging our friends' choices. Interpreting the fact that our friend has chosen something different as her judgment (and rejection) of what we've chosen for ourselves. The distance that grows when we feel like (because we've chosen differently or believe we would choose differently if we were in her shoes) we can no longer relate to the women to whom we're closest. Like the kid afraid of being left all alone on the bridge, each of us, at one time or another, has been left feeling like the oddball exception. And that feeling can mess with the decisions we make -- and often, the really important ones"

Guilty. I am so guilty of this. I often look around at what my friends are doing and feel nervous if my path differ from theirs. Am I wrong? Are they wrong? I think this comparing of yourself to others happens a lot for people who strive for perfection. For the longest time, I was struggling to obtain the 'perfect life': the perfect job, the perfect place to live, the perfect boyfirend, tons of friends, money. I wanted it all. I have slowly come to realize that you can have it all, but most likely you wont have it all at once, contrary to what Bethenny Frankel preaches. This realization made me happier with my life. There will be ups and there will be downs.

And, as this article points out, we, as woman today, have an unprecedented number of choices & paths to take and there is no right or wrong choice. I am slowly trying to become confident in the path I've chosen, the decisions I've made, and the life I live. Instead of looking next to me at what all my friends are doing, I am just attempting to live for the here and now and excited for the future on the path I've made for ME where ever it may lead.

Happy 4th of July

This 4th of July Joe and I headed to Rochester on Thursday mid-day to spend the weekend. We left Philly around 2pm and arrived in Rochester around dinner time. My mom had invited my grandma and uncle over and we had a nice dinner. After dinner we headed to Abbott's to make some sundaes for ourselves. Joe was like a kid in a candy store. When he was done making his sundae, I think he had every topping in the bowl.

On Friday we woke up and went out to Sodus for the day. The weather was beautiful. We sat at the sandbar in the bay at the outlet to the lake and drank, ate and relaxed. At dinner time, we took the jetski to shore to eat dinner at Captain Jacks. Joe and I got trash plates of course because we have to if we're in Rochester and they are on the menu. Friday night we went out with Meg and her boyfriend and some other friends from high school to a couple bars downtown. We had a great time chatting and playing skee ball with them.

On Saturday we went out to the boat again and took a trip to Fairhaven Beach State Park, which is a few bays down from Sodus. We docked the boat and set up a picnic lunch in the park with my family. We also jumped off the diving boards that they have there. I did this a lot as a kid and it was really fun to do it again. A picture of the diving area is below. On the way back, Joe and I tubed off the back of the boat. On Saturday night we went to my neighbor Emily's house for some forth of July fireworks. She has a cute 5 month old baby that is just so good. He makes me want kids sooner rather then later, but I am sure the kid I have will not be a little angel. hahha.



On Sunday my parents, Joe and I went to Niagara Falls to take Joe on a Jet Boat ride down the Niagara River. It was a great time and we got soaked. After the boat ride, we got some ice cream and headed over to the falls. At night we went over my family friends house for some fireworks. They live right on Lake Ontario and their house is gorgeous. The picture at the top of this blog was taken there.

On Monday, we relaxed a little and headed back to Philadelphia.

I had a great 4th of July with my family friends and Joe. Everything could not have been more perfect. Where ever you were this 4th of July, I hope you enjoyed the holiday as much as I did!