Breakfast at Tiffanys.... or maybe just a snack?

Joe left for Vegas last Wednesday with his friends, Ev and Ry. You know.. the boys trip.... complete with Limo from the airport to the hotel.. anyways.. his request was simple: Please don't call me a million times, I don't want to talk to you or anyone, I just want to enjoy my vacation and be in the moment with my friends. As we talked, he kept saying he didn't think I could go a week without calling him because, when he is in VA we talk, like every day, most days more then once. This bet intrigued me.. did he really think I was that dependent on him that I wouldn't be able to last? And for that matter - why would I want to talk to someone who specifically just stated they did not want to hear from me? OK BET ON BUDDY.. YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO IT.. WATCH THIS. I promptly asked him, what would be in it for me if I could complete the bet-- he said, a gift of my choice. OH DANGER.. OK.. let the hunt begin. I promptly type in www.tiffanys.com to my web browser. I have been wanting one of the new line of Tiffany's keys for awhile, but didn't want to buy myself such an expensive present. This is what I want, on a long chain to wear with like a tunic and leggings or a tank top in the summer. I think its really cute! I sent that off to Joe's GMail to complete the terms of the bet.. no calls, I want this. He promptly wrote back that the price was ridiculous, how could a silver key cost $185? Well, boy I said - its 50% markup for the nice turquoise green box accompanied with a white bow .. which makes it TIFFANY'S. He said that was ridiculous.. so I wanted to give him another option. I sent him this - a $38,000, 1.5 carrot engagement ring thus making my original choice look cheap. His response to this email. YOU WISH. (So I guess I'll be getting my original choice).

So Wednesday rolls around and off he goes to Vegas. When he landed in Vegas, he sent me this text:

Joe: Landed. Vegas!

I did not respond. Day 1 completed :)

Wednesday night I left for Atlanta for work, and was there from Wednesday night to Friday afternoon. During that time, we had no communications. This was probably the hardest part of the bet for me to keep because, I hate flying, and we were flying through all sorts of thunderstorms. This was probably the time I would have called him for some moral support - but stayed strong in the name of TIFFANY'S.

Friday afternoon, just as I landed at the Philadelphia airport, I received another text. This time a picture of a lion, from some show they were seeing. My response: :) - just a smiley face, no words, and still no call. Friday night when I got home, I was sitting on the couch and he wouldn't give up, another text:

Joe: Tiffany's is looking really nice, especially the engagement rings.

Ok, bust out the engagement ring word? That's low. Of course that will solicit my interest, but definitely still no call.

My text response: Bets still on :) Take a good look at those rings.

Now mind you, to date during his trip, none of this communication was even initiated by me. It seems as though, the more I did nothing.. the more he stepped up to the plate and tried to get in touch with me. I began to wonder, is this true in real life, and not just in bets? Is it true that the more that you chase someone- the more they run.. and the more you just do nothing, the more you force them to make the effort and come to you. I always thought that showing I was a good girlfriend meant putting in the effort, calling, keeping in touch, being there fore him. It seems though that the more I try and do those things, the more I don't give him a chance to show me he can make the effort to. So the question is-- where is the happy medium where both people know when to go the extra mile for the other? I don't know the answer.

Saturday morning. 9 am.

Text from Joe: Got some compliments on the Ben Sherman blazer you picked out for me. Great pick! Maybe one day me and you can come to Vegas just the two of us. I am playing black jack now, maybe we can catch up tomorrow (and by tomorrow he meant Saturday- since he was still awake from Friday night)

Nicole's response: Nothing.

5 minutes later - the unthinkable. Phone rings - its Joe. I let it ring a few times so as not to seem eager and pick it up. I specifically state - terms of bet did not include you calling me.

His response: I caved.

We talked for about 10 minutes, before he went back to playing black jack. He told me about his trip and the fun they had been having. But he told me one thing that validated the reason I had made this bet in the first place. I felt like Joe thought I was needy.. that I couldn't live my life without him. I told him before he left that he had know idea how great of a girl I was and how he did not appreciate me for all the things I do, and all the freedom I give him compared to most girlfriends. When he left, he couldn't see what I meant. But what he told me on the phone made me know that he gets it now. He said that the other girls were calling/texting continuously annoying their boyfriends who just wanted to get away together for a five day vacation. He said they would text at least 3-4 times an hour- and the boys were getting so frustrated.. they inquired as to why he hadn't heard from me.

His response to them: Shes smart - she said she wouldn't call if I buy her Tiffany's.

Their reply: Dude, you have the best girlfriend ever.

MY PLAN WORKED:

Their validating our relationship to him, and telling him I am a keeper, will only help me in the future. I want him to see that he does have a good girl, and he should nurture that more instead of take it for granted. Its Sunday morning, I still haven't called, and the hardest part is over. He will be back Tuesday night - hopefully with my gift. I cant say the bet was all for him, because it definitely proved to me that I don't NEED to talk to him as much as I think I do... and I am stronger then I give myself credit for. I'll let you know if I end up with the engagement ring (breakfast) or just a snack(the necklace I originally wanted) Either way, I'm the winner all around.

Down by the Bay...

This weekend was by far one of the nicest weather wise we've had in awhile. It was Joe's friends birthday so we decided to go down to his shore house on Friday night and do a little gambling and clubbing in AC for his friends birthday. Just to give you some background, I didn't have a car because I had dropped it off at the Hyundai dealer for a grease and oil change, so Joe had to pick me up in Philly and then head down to the shore. I promised him that if he did that, I would have a pan of lasagna waiting, that way we could eat a good meal and not have to stop on the way. So, I went to the grocery Thursday night, got all the ingredients for meat lasagna, and attempted to prepare. I read the instructions carefully, but man is it hard apportioning all the ingredients evenly so as not to short change one of your lasagna layers! Yeah, not as easy as it looked. Friday, I arrived home from work and popped my lasagna concoction into the oven, while I got ready for the shore. I guess people were dying to get out last weekend because it took Joe 2.5 hours to get to my house from his house in NJ. Yeah..so by the time he arrived, stress was at a maximum height since we still had to get back in the car and go to the shore. We wolfed down the lasagna, which came out great despite my inability to make even layers, and we headed off.

We arrived in Longport, NJ, where Joe's shore house is to meet up with his friends. To say that I love this house would be an understatement. His dad, being a contractor thought of everything... brick pizza ovens, fireplaces in the bedrooms, 8 bedrooms, game room, outdoor shower house, two roof decks.. the place is amazing. Upon arrival we quickly changed, pregamed a little and headed off to AC since, with the traffic debacle it was getting late. When we got to AC, we went to the Tropicana. We decided that we were going to gamble a little then go into Providence, one of my favorite clubs in AC. We sat down at Black Jack, and I put $100 down on the table and received $100 in chips. I couldn't lose, I had the best night gambling I think I have ever had. We played about an hour, and I walked away up $300 from my original investment. YAY.

So, off to Providence we went. Once we were inside, surrounded by the cast of the Jersey Shore (not really, just a lot of N. Jersey Guido's) it was pretty much a standard AC night, lots of shots and drinks... with one exception. Holly Montague from the Hills was there... here is a picture. It was pretty weird seeing her in person.

Below is a pretty drunk pic of Joe and I but, we had a nice time. After leaving the club, we went back out the casino because Joe wanted to gamble more. At first, I just watched for fear that I may lose my winnings. Everyone who knows me knows I love gambling too much to just watch so finally I caved and threw in another $100. God must have been looking down on me because I won another $200 bucks, bringing my grand total to almost $600. WINNER. I walked away pretty happy.

The next day, the sun was shining and it was a pretty warm day so Joe took me around Longport to look at

that he thought I would find more amazing then his. OH MAN WAS HE RIGHT. I HAVE FOUND MY DREAM HOUSE ON THE OCEAN. Lets take a guess how many bedrooms this place has?!

Needless to say, I had a great weekend in Longport, and man was it nice to see my boyfriend finally!

OK in OK!

OK.. so I am in OK!

My company sent me to Tulsa, OK for work until Friday. I was really apprehensive about the situation mostly because I hate flying with a freaking passion. As in, it terrifies me. Begrudgingly, Monday morning I got up at 5am and headed to Philadelphia airport to catch my flight. I flew from Philadelphia to Dallas and Dallas to Tulsa. 11 hours later, door to door, I arrived in Tulsa. Upon landing, I was pretty proud of myself, I did not shed one tear on the flight, and acted exactly the way a professional, corporate dressed, lap tap carrying business woman should act!! I got off the flight, got my bag, and proceeded to the rental counter and rented my very first car! Walking through the parking garage I was hoping for an SUV or something sporty and very corporate to drive around. I ended up with probably the worst car in the parking garage.. a 2010 a Ford Flex. THIS CAR LOOKS LIKE A Hearse.. OMG! THIS IS AWFUL HOW ARE MY SUPPOSED TO LOOK CORPORATE DRIVING A FUNERAL CAR?

This morning, I woke up and proceeded over to the office to meet with the controller of the Tulsa OK office. Driving to the office, Tulsa looks a lot like Rochester, maybe a little smaller. It is one of the flattest places I have ever seen! I really enjoyed the no traffic thing, but looking around, Tulsa is EXACTLY how the mid-west is portrayed in the movies, tiny houses, little churches on the corners, people who have been born and raised in OK their whole lives. Its slower here, people talk about fishing, hunting, actually take a whole hour for lunch. Speaking of lunch....
The controller and some of the people in the Tulsa office wanted to take me out to an authentic Tulsa lunch. So they took me for barbecue in North Tulsa (a very old, poor, section of town much akin to N. Philly) Let me first just say that I had beef brisket and it was delicious. But let me paint a picture of this lunch.

I think the sign says it all, "You need no teeth... to eat our beef" It was total hick ville glory. My lunch didn't come on a plate, it came directly on the tray on a piece of wax paper. Not to mention animal heads lined the walls and country music blasted loud and proud out the front door. Conversation consisted of discussing "noodling" , hunting, and the like. Needless to say. I am definitely not in Philly anymore, but its been a fun, and eye opening experience.
Until next time <3

Thundersnow 2010

So today we are working from home due to inclement weather! During my "lunch break" I went outside for a little. I got my snow day wish! You are never too old to go out and build a snow man!

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.. or does it?

The past few weeks have been hard. I found out that my roomate Laura is moving out. She got a job in North Jersey that is a good career opportunity for her. I cant say I am angry at her for leaving, as she is entitled to do so, but I feel sad that so many times when you get close to someone, and put so much effort into a friendship, its a betrayal feeling when they move on. I think this particularly stresses me out for two reasons:
1. All my friends are moving in separate directions to persue either boyfriends, careers, or both - so it is signifying the start to the end of the "post college years" and the beginning of "real adult life".
2. The mortgage is due each month whether she is there to help pay it or not... so either need to find somone to replace her, or eat up the cost for next year. Both situations have its plusses and minuses, but ultimately I dont want a random roomate - I dont need to start over again with roomate issues like a college kid. (Might I say that ended up working out in my favor becuase I gained Rachel and lost Sharon, but usually in those random roomate instances things are more likely to go bad then good). I hope that the answer will reveal itself to me with this one in time. I just hope that Sara sticks around one more year, becuase that would make it all worse.. needing two new roomates. I guess this is a good segway to say that the roomate shift has brought about talk of moving in with Joe, something I am conifedent we are not ready for yet.... and I am not sure we will ever be.. but lets talk about Joe..

Joe is stil shuffling back and forth from Virginia. This is really starting to take a toll on "us". It has pretty much come down to this simple fact: There are two camps - Camp Joe.. and Camp Nicole..

Camp Joe and Camp Nicole rarely cease fire on eachother anymore. As a matter of fact, they fight every single day about dumb shit. The thing about distance is that it does funny things to perception. Something as simple as making plans for the weekend becomes complicated when their are 350 miles between you and the weather sucks. We tired keeping a calendar to better document plans and be on the same page, but that also has become a failure as lifes little annoyances eat up the small amounts of time that we do get a chance to spend together. Today for example, I was invited by Joes friends for both of us to attend beer fest in Atlantic city.. something that I wanted to do last year when he went but was told it was a "boys only weekend". I was excited that this year - "boys only" had turned to "boys and their significant others get drunk and have sex" weekend. So today, when asked to go by Joes friend, the answer "yes" was a no-brainer. No sooner did I get the words out when I was informed that Joe was not attending.... why you may ask??
Well here are the reasons
1. HE will just be getting back from Vegas
2. HE will be broke and doesnt want to spend money in AC
3. HE has to drive to VA the next day
4. HE doesnt want to be out late/be hung over if HE has to drive

Do you see a pattern here? It was all about him... and lately it has been. Our lives pretty much consist of me conceeding my wishes because HE has to be in VA and that stresses HIM out becuase he never gets to be HOME and when he is HOME.. HE WANTS TO BE IN JERSEY.

This situation has been indicitive of the past few weeks. Pretty much, his Virginia life trumps any feelings I have that are contrary to his grand plan. While I can see that the situation is very stressful on him as well and very tiring having to drive back... my simpathy only goes so far.

I am trying to be strong and tell myself the situation is only temporary...and that things will smooth out when he gets back.. My only concern is that DISTANCE may be an indicator of what life will be like in TIME... what I am saying is that in 30 years after we've been married forever, when my boobs sag, and his hair is gray...and things are out of the honey moon phase - is the situation now showing me a glimpse into the future? Part of me wants to think that the pressure of the long distance relationship is exaserbating personality flaws between us that you would normally see in a person with time? Is VA showing me a mirror of what the pressures of life will do to our marriage? In this case, should I run?

New Year..

I swore I would keep up on this more so that I dont have to write these amazing catch up blogs and I can focus more time on the nitty gritty. As in, pick a small topic from the day, and tell a story in detail. I guess that will have to be the goal this year. So here lies my last catch up blog.

When I left off Joe was relocated out to VA, and I was in major destress mode about it. I am happy to report that things are going far better then I ever planned them to be. He makes tons of effort to make it home, time and weather permitting, and I have no complaints. We have even worked out a calendar system where we periodically sit down together to plan out the coming months and schedule time that works for both of us. I can not say that it has been "easy" but "bearable" would be a good term. I think that it has actually helped our relationship in a way. In recent weeks watchng my other girlfriends I can whole heartly say that too much of anything, even a great thing, like a great boyfriend.. is unhealthy. Him being away makes me greatful, appreciative, and excited every time he steps foot through my door and back into my life. I know I act like he is off in Iraq or something, but I guess there comes a certain point where if your a a certain distance away from a person, they might as well be across the world, becuase you cant see them at a drop of a hat and a drive down the street. (In no way am I saying that what he is doing even holds a candle to soldiers fighting in Iraq, but you get the idea). I have come to realize maybe distance keeps things healthy - and allows you to better appreciate the time you do have with a person instead of taking in for granted.

On another front, I have a new job. I work for a company in Radnor PA, a Philly suburb. The hours are stable and the pay is good. I am learning a lot, and I have met a few nice people. I cant say that I will stay there for ever but I can say that I am much happier now then I was working busy season hours. My life is balanced- work is what I do during the day to make money - it is no longer my life.

My 25th birthday is around the corner. If you know me then you know that I am usually the queen of throwing my own celebration - much akin to a national holiday. However, this year I have not been able to muster up the same youthful exhuberance about my birthday. I am not 100% sure but I think it may have something to do with the number? I will no longer have the comfort of being like "yeah I'm under 25 - thats not closer to 30" My only hope is that my 25th year on this earth will be filled with happiness, joy, health, money, love, challenges, and many many laughs. Oh yeah.. and things to write about in this blog.

Until next time,
Nicole

Time to catch up

Hi All,
I cant believe its been almost 2 and a half months since my last post. A lot has happened in that time, some of it great, some of it not so great. A month ago I found out Joe is getting relocated to Lynchburg VA for the next year to work on a project for his company. Its a great career move, I know that for certain, but a great relationship move, probably not. Figuring out the path of this has been pretty hard, we are going to need to find a rhythem, something we both can live with while he is away. He will be back every other weekend right now, and so we'll see. Long distance relationships are hard and confusing and not anything I signed up for when we first met.. but thats the way the ball bouces.

A few weekends ago we went to Atantic City to go to a club at the Borgotta. We had a really great time! We ate at the Bobby Flay resturant, then went to the club, then gambled until like 5:30 in the morning. It was nice to get away with him. :)

Last week, my family and I went to San Francisco, for our first famiy vacation since I started college in 2003. It was great to all be together again. We did some great things while we were there too. First of all San Fran is one of the most clean, beautiful, friendly citys I have ever been to. We went to Napa Valley and did a lot of wine tasting. The next day we shopped in Union Square, China Town, and the Fishermans Warf. The following day we went to Alcatraz where I was locked in solitary confinement for 2.5 minutes!!! It was crazy, I would never want to go to prision. The last day, we went to Solsilito and Muir Woods (where the giant red wood trees are) and did a beautiful hike through the woods. I am so lucky to be able to still get together and do fun things with my family. I wish we could take random side trips like that more often.

Joe and I are both looking forward to Rachels wedding(probably for different reasons, but we are). We have been discussing marriage a lot lately, mostly induced by me. I noticed that we definately have a difference of opinion when it comes to an appropriate marriage age. I am thinking within the next few years, and he is leaning toward 30! 30 ?! Are you kidding, if he thinks I'm sticking around until he decides hes ready at 30, he has another thing coming. My thing is, if you know you want to be with someone for the rest of your life.. why not have the rest of your life start ASAP? I'm by no means saying I want to be engaged tomorrow. But 30 is 5 years, if you dont know after 5 years, will you ever know?! And does this non-comittal 30 answer mean - he does not see me in his future forever? I dont know.. guess you'll have to weigh in.

So thats where I stand, I need to start blogging more often, I dont like these random catch up blogs, they have no theme and are a mish mash of crap scribbled on a page.

N